I'm upset, I think...

as opposed to downset, I suppose... obviously a little more than simply 'set'

The difference between boldness and cowardness is all in the motives. A coward seeks his own gain, and a courageos man seeks the gain of others at his expense.

my stupid heart

thoughts are so precious. so very precious.

and they're so valuable. so I'm being very careful with what I write and where I write it. people can spin it all over the board, I guess - and often times, yes, they do.


the truth is, though, I'm down. I've been down. it has nothing to do with JUST one small thing that happened the night before. but things are hard. I'm looking forward to relief.

it's like that relief you look forward to when you fast. you just look forward to it - you crave it, almost. "God will satisfy me at the end of this period."


so pray that I get this job. pray that I get over feeling useless, and stupid, and like a failure.

it's this mix of loneliness and invasion. they call it 'community.' I call it hurt.

I really cant help but to wonder why im the only who ever cares, and why it always fails. It makes me think my tendency is to make oceans out of puddles.

Gary put off his old shoes. Gary put on his new shoes.

More than often i feel the most alone when i try to do the right thing that no one else is willing to do. Maybe a man will forever reap loneliness with courage.

Tossed aside, and ostrasized. No where to go for love, no hand to hold. Tossed aside, alone. Theyre alone, and it makes me want to scream. (and i sometimes do)

'Gary' - i shook the mans hand, and i realized that i knew him. We sat, we laughed, he needs a job, i got his shoe size. We both need the Lord.

Theres something misplaced about articles and interviews that deal with enduring the ecomic crunch in order to have a happy memorial day get away vacation.